Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
