I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We just shotgunned beers for America
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize