I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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