He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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