That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
