i don't plan on having that self control this summer
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
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While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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