I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
