I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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