i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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