On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
