You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
