Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
