I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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