just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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