Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Non-Jews are for practice
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
