Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
