Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
