belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
