..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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