Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
