happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
