Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
