I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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