I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
