yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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