Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
