I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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