you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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