I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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