This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
