We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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