just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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