Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
