He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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