i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
