I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
