Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize