I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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