***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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