I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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