Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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