I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
