sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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