Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize