It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
