when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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