I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
