I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize