I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize