nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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