I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
