my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
