Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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