so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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