My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
