I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize