Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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