OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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