Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
