I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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