Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
